I would be a hypocrite if I tell you that I have never wanted to become a professional blogger. With all the perks and the idea of working for yourself, hundreds and hundreds of people are starting to sign up and flock the internet with their own little space, hoping to get noticed by brands and sponsors all over the world. I’m one of them, but lately, I realized that there is more to money and perks on becoming a professional blogger.
As of the moment, I am, in no way, a professional blogger. I do accept sponsored posts every now and then, but it’s not enough to say that I’m doing this professionally. It’s becoming more frequent lately, especially because I really needed extra income, but I still can’t say that this is my “profession”, as I feel like I’m not giving enough effort just yet. Much like everyone else, this is the dream — to monetize my blog, get event invites once in a while, and to just start feeling like I’m noticed by a small audience. I guess, being a bullied kid in high school, there were parts of me that really wanted to become a part of the ‘in’ group — you know, the popular, the cool. But then again, this is me, and my personality never fits in to those who ‘make it’ on this field (a.k.a. popularity contests, etc). Anyway, I grew out of my delusions of becoming the cool person, sure, but there is still some satisfaction whenever people would recognize the name of my blog (I am NOT popular, but I guess people KNOWING you and you not knowing them feels nice every once in a while).
I would be straight out with you all — I do like getting sponsored posts and I enjoy writing most of it, but I am starting to feel like I don’t like where I am headed to. Lately, as I was browsing through my blog, I realized that, to my dismay, most of the posts are about the brands or people that I write for. Before, this blog is my voice — it pretty much contains my heart and soul and all the dark secrets that I keep — but now, it has become a source of income, a way to keep up with my unstable freelance gigs and unknown future. I felt like I’m starting to resent it, and I feel like I’m starting to be disconnected from that one place that I used to love. I stopped putting on personal stories and inputs, and instead, I made way for posts that would be beneficial to me. I guess I felt out-balanced, and it felt a little too much than what I expected.
I mean, there is nothing wrong on becoming a professional blogger — honestly speaking, I admire those people who can make it through, especially those who are under the lifestyle / personal categories because blogging is just so damn hard
most of the time sometimes. Maintaining your aesthetic, keeping the voice, and inputting yourself on your posts, maaaaan, that’s one hell of a challenge. When I look at them and take a look at myself, I realize that I never really put much focus and effort on this blog as I should have if I really wanted to be a professional. For the longest time, I’ve been treating my blog as a ‘hobby’, an outlet of my not-so-creative pursuits, a place where I would just babble away and NOT CARE about what people would think. And I guess, the more I started to push through with posts that would help me monetize this space — fitting on a niche, trying to write on a certain way — the more I felt robbed of my personality. I felt like for the past months, I kept on pushing away my personal stories just to make way for posts that could bring in a couple of bucks. As I said, I am outbalanced, and I think that there is no way to get out of it other than acknowledge the fact that I am pretty lost on where I’m headed to. Just like the rest of my life, I am also definitely lost on how I wanted this blog to be. Is this a food blog? A travel blog? A lifestyle blog? When I look at it, it felt like a mess, but when I go back to simpler times, back when I was still not doing a bunch of sponsored post, I realized that this is just another personal blog. A blog where I chronicle my life and I just YOLO when it comes to creating content, and even schedule.
I am nothing but grateful for all my sponsored content — thank you for feeding me on this challenging times — but I guess I should be more proactive and focused on creating posts that meant something for me. Create posts that would let me share my life, perhaps?
What do you guys think? I honestly need some advice, but I guess in the end, I might just follow my gut feel and continue to write about my life MORE than I write for money. Either way, I’d still love to hear from you.
PS: I promise to be more active on replying to comments! It still amazes me that there are people who care enough to read and leave a comment. I APPRECIATE YOU ALL.