Saying that 2015 is a crazy year will be an understatement. There were literally a lot of highs and lows, and despite the fact that I was greatly depressed during the last quarter of the year, I’m pretty proud to say that I’ve finally put my act together before I bid adios to 2015. Although I’m still struggling right now, at least I could say that I have finally found myself getting out of bed and feeling like I’m ready to embrace the shit out of life. Compared to the past months where I would literally stay inside my room and just bawl whenever I remember how bad things were, I honestly think that I’ve had some progress in here. Looking back, I’d look at myself and think that I could’ve done so much more during the times that I’ve wasted if only I was better, but then again, when you’re in this kind of situation, you just don’t understand how you came in there, what you’d only feel is as if you’re just trapped in a snap and stuck inside a cage somewhere beneath the pits of darkness.
2015 was a year of hoping, of dreaming, of making mistakes, of failing, of giving up, of letting go, of moving forward, of picking up the pieces, and of making sense of all the crazy things that happened in my life. It has been a year of leaving places and embracing possibilities, of trying to learn more about taking a leap of faith and taking risks. 2015 is not an easy year, but it was a good year despite all of its bumpy roads and dark tunnels. At the end of the day, I learned a lot about myself and my life, more than anything else, and I guess, that makes all the difficult things worth it.
Despite all the things that have happened in my life, I find it painfully difficult to create a post that could summarize the things that I’ve been through. Maybe because it was overwhelming, or maybe because I still find it hard to create some sense on how things went. So instead of the usual breakdown of highlights per month, I decided to be more playful and creative by creating a list of my 2015 highlights in numbers. Please forgive me for my extremely unorganized (and sometimes, melodramatic) thoughts.
Two (2): Failed employments
So, as you may all know, I’ve recently resigned yet again from my job. Once again, I packed my bags and walked away to opportunities that I thought would allow me to grow, of possibilities that I once thought would be great for me. The past months has been very difficult, especially because my last employment definitely drained the f*ck out of me. My body has greatly suffered from my work load and stress, and despite the fact that I like what I do (or I could’ve liked it more…), there are so many other things that made me resent my situation even if I didn’t intend to. Boss, workmates, work loads… I honestly felt like I never really belonged. And because of the current turn of events, I decided to take a break and just pursue doing freelance projects. I know it’s not easy, but I felt like I could use some time at home just to rebuild myself. I have also decided to relaunch our business, The Dream Shirt, because I got so out of touch with it because of work. I’m honestly excited for the new journey ahead of me, and despite the fact that this is a huge risk from my part, I’m willing to embrace it and make the most out of what is out there.
Five (5): Staycations!
Because really, I took all the possible escapes that I could grab my hands on. I usually take this time to destress, binge eat, and talk to Mark about all my frustrations. Sometimes, it just feels awesome to lock ourselves inside a room and just have lengthy talks about life, business, and everything under the sun.
Can also be counted: Overnights at Cza’s humble home. 🙂
Six (6): Concerts / Gigs that I’ve Attended
I’m a huge fan of music, but I’ve only been to quite a handful of concerts. I hope that come 2016, I can come to more gigs and concerts! EHEM Goodvybes
Seven (7): Performances that I’ve Attended
I’m a huge fan of theater but I feel a bit sad that I was only able to see a few for this year. I also decided to count the spoken word performance that I’ve seen earlier this year, because I feel it can be counted here.
Performances I’ve Attended: Project VOICE Manila: Phil Kaye and Sarah Kay (March) | Karnabal Festival: Tikom (May) | Karnabal Festival: Relationship Anatomy (May) | Karnabal Festival: Mga Multo ni Mang Roque (May) | Karnabal Festival: Ang Istoryang Dahil Sayo (May) | Saturday Night Fever (June) | Rak of Aegis (August)
Eight (8): Years that Mark & I have been together
Mark and I celebrated our 8th anniversary last December 11, and I couldn’t be any happier. The year has been all sorts of crazy, and our relationship has been pretty rocky during the start of 2015, but I’m so glad that we’ve sorted out all our differences. As cheesy as this sounds, I really look forward to more years of celebrating with him.
Nine (9): Pounds shed
I know it’s not much but I do hope to lose more weight come 2016. I lost some pounds because of repeatedly getting sick, but I hope that I can continue to lose some more by being active and eating properly. But first, I have to finish this tub of Kaldereta at home.
Eleven (11): Places I’ve Been
2015 is the year of travel! I have always wanted to travel a lot, and this year, I was able to do so, thanks to cheap air fares and assignments from WIM.
Fifteen (15): Books that I’ve Read
I originally planned to finish 25 books, but since work got in the way, I kind of stopped reading halfway through the year. I hope to be able to get back to my reading mojo come 2016!
Books read: (1) Landline – Rainbow Rowell | (2) Love Letters to the Dead – Ava Dellaira | (3) Will Grayson, Will Grayson – John Green | (4) Si – Bob Ong | (5) Fangirl – Rainbow Rowell | (6) The Spectacular Now – Tim Tharp | (7) The Art of Asking – Amanda Palmer | (8) PS I Still Love You – Jenny Han | (9) Paper Towns – John Green | (10) We Were Liars – E. Lockhart | (11) Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman – Haruki Murakami | (12) Me, Earl, and the Dying Girl – Jesse Andrews | (13) Falling Into Place – Amy Zhang | (14) My True Love Gave Me – Various YA Authors | (15) Carrie – Stephen King
Eighty Three (83): Movies Watched
I promised myself to finish 100 movies for 2015, but unfortunately, I wasn’t able to get it over with (duh). Glad I still did the challenge, though! You can check the complete list of films that I’ve seen on Pinterest. I also plan to create quick movie reviews of the films that I’ve watched, since most of my thoughts are just in bullet form on my journals. I hope I could finally finish 100 by 2016, though. 🙂
Eighty Nine (89): Blog Posts
For 2015, I was able to publish 89 posts on this blog! Feels pretty amazing considering that I kind of suck on being consistent. I plan on updating at least twice a week, and I would be super thankful if I can do that. Also: I moved to WordPress. Yas!
One Thousand Four Hundred Twenty (1,420): Instagram Followers
Ahhh! I never really thought that I would end up having a hundred followers on Instagram, so finding out that I was able to reach 1,000 was an achievement for me already! Let’s follow each other there: @jhanzey
That’s about it! 🙂 2015 is a pretty crazy year, but it was a good one. Thank you to everyone who stuck around and to understood me while I was going through a very difficult time in my life. I hope 2016 would treat us all well!
How about you guys? How was your 2015? If you have a year end post, drop your links below and I would definitely check it out! 🙂